Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
