he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
vagina is talking i cant
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
