the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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