The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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