I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
