This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
