i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
