I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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