I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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