I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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