Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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