I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
