I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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