Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
