okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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