ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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