he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
two words...techno handjob
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
