he shaved USA in his pubs
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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