Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
