he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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