So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She even gives head with a lisp.
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Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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