and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
