so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
