Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
