They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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