My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
