I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
