I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize