bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
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I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.