:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.