He uses pillows to masturbate.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
