Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
