brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
