I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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