Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
