i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
