I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I won the penis lottery.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize