i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
