@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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