Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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