The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
