we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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