So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
