my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
