is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
