I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
