i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
