so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
