i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Randomize