____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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