My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
