what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
