What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
