well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
