i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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