why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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