Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
