I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
