it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
