I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
