i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
