I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
