I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
