Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is Oprah even human
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
