Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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