I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize