You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
