Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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