your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
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Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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