She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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